I am vast, blue timeworn colossus,

rolling, the green hills of Qwahu

brown scars of the Nuer

I can go deeper, hold it

and deeper still

hold, hold.

In these things lie no permission, everything-

is for the taking-

the giving.

Heirloom scattered coral, pirouette

in the deep,

I find language and stories of them

and me

memories of this vast colossus of them

and me

looking into them

is looking into me

this surface, this surface

looking hurts this surface

but in them lies permission for me

to be me

only one way to heal this bone deep-

power, centrifugal power

this gentle force

at the centre of careless tornadoes

the softest wave kisses the shore.